At a recent workshop for health professionals, a couple of the participants mentioned that some of their patients were ‘really difficult’. On exploring what they meant by this, they were frustrated by people who seemed not to contribute in consultations, or didn’t attend regularly, or when they did attend, they didn’t seem particularly interested in doing what they were asked to manage their diabetes. One also mentioned that such ‘difficult patients’ also often attended with their own agenda and questions that weren’t always relevant to the consultation.
This made me reflect on how often I hear this kind of point made and also on what a powerful, emotionally charged exclamation it is, to say that you have ‘difficult patients’. What is perhaps really being said is ‘I find it really hard to meet these peoples’ needs, so I am categorising them as difficult’.
I have heard of ‘difficult patients’ in all sorts of guises – someone with Type 2 diabetes who feels nothing the health professional suggests is worth trying, a teenager with Type 1 diabetes who sits surly and unresponsive throughout the consultation or what has been described by a fellow blogger Alison Finney as ‘a nightmare patient’ in her blog shoot up or put up
, referring to someone who wants to know everything about everything and discuss the pros and cons of all advice given.
I venture the view that actually, there is no such thing as a ‘difficult patient’ but there are difficult encounters between people with diabetes and health professionals. These are characterised, in my view, by strong feelings on the part of each and yes, competing agendas, which are often only partly fulfilled.
It’s often about roles. Having diabetes certainly doesn’t make you keen to adopt or adopt unquestioningly, the behaviours recommended for keeping well. Neither does being a health professional make you all – knowing or even all-powerful. However, these are frequently the roles assigned, albeit unconsciously, in a typical consultation. Herein lies where agendas can clash.
There is also the question of expectations, if not judgements. Often, thoughts that precede the ‘difficult encounter’ will be “oh no, it’s the difficult/uncompliant/badly controlled/intense/obsessional person coming in next (health professional) or ‘I hate going to this consultation, I’m fed up of never getting anything right/not having my questions answered/not being able to get a word in edgeways/being told stuff I already know’ (person with diabetes).
Hence the stage is set for a tricky, unfulfilling, and most sadly of all, ultimately pointless meeting.
I paint a dire picture, I know, but I’m guessing that it’s one you may recognise, at least in part, from your experiences of consultations. If you do recognise and would like to lessen the chances of being seen as or having a ‘difficult patient’, then I’d like to offer you a few ideas from research and experience – in no particular order of importance:
• Ask about feelings: sometimes anxiety manifests as anger and silence equals upset. Acknowledging that consultations are emotionally charged can remove a great deal of difficulty
• Plan for 1 thing – and 1 only – that you’d like to achieve from the consultation and share this with the other party, ideally before or at least at the start of the consultation
• Don’t expect your consultation to be 100% perfect or have 100% perfect outcomes. You are bound to be disappointed! Seeing this meeting as just one step on the journey of diabetes is fine
• Share your feelings – yes, both of you. Not in a ‘deep and meaningful’ way, but honestly: how about ‘I’m not sure we’re getting on so well: how can I best help you today?’ or ‘coming here always makes me feel a bit of a failure I’d like to talk about what I have been doing rather than what I’ve not done’
• Examine your motives for the consultation: are you expecting the health professional to solve or take over your diabetes? Do you want your patients to do what you tell them, unquestioningly? Either way, it’s unrealistic. Consider having a conversation about 1 thing that really matters to you both, instead
• Are you talking at cross purposes because you don’t both have the same facts at your fingertips, eg test results and their meaning? If so, would sharing test results in advance of the consultation help, so you can discuss them on equal footing?
It is certainly true that the more honesty and information sharing there is in consultations, the more worthwhile experience they seem to be. While writing this I’ve also been reminded of a comment made by a colleague, who once said ‘I see the HbA1c as an invitation to look at the person’s life with them’. Could this possibly be all that ‘difficult patient’ needs from their consultation?